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● 金子みすゞさんの詩情とその英訳(英文校閲:Frances Ford)
87.秋
電灯がてんでに
ひかってて、
てんでにかげを
こさえてて、
町はきれいな
縞になる。
縞の明るい所には、
ゆかたの人が
三五人。
縞の小暗い所には、
秋がこっそり
かくれてる。
(添削)
Autumn
Each one of [the挿入] street lamps
shines here and there,
independent of each other,
and (causes shadow-casting) [⇒causes shadows OR casting shadows]
here and there,
independent of each other,
which makes the street picturesque
in a striped pattern.
(On the) [⇒In one] bright stripe
stand three (to) [⇒or] five people,
each of them in “yukata”.
(Over) [⇒In] the gloomy stripe
now lies (fall) [⇒autumn] secretly (( ‘autumn’ is less
ambiguous))
in hiding.
(できあがり)
Autumn
Each one of the street lamps
shines here and there,
independent of each other,
and causes shadows here and there,
independent of each other,
which makes the street picturesque
in a striped pattern.
In one bright stripe
stand three or five people,
each of them in “yukata”.
In the gloomy stripe
now lies autumn secretly
in hiding.
88.転校生
よそから来た子は
かわいい子、
どうすリや、おつれに
なれよかな。
おひるやすみに
みていたら、
その子はさくらに
もたれてた。
よそから来た子は
よそ言葉、
よそ言葉で
はなそかな。
かえリの路で
ふとみたら
その子はおつれが
出来ていた。
(添削)
The New Girl in School
The new girl in school
was pretty and sweet.
How I could fall
into company with her, I wondered.
In the noon recess
I was watching her lean
against the cherry-tree.
The new girl in school
was (talking) [⇒speaking] with (another) [⇒an] accent.
I wondered if it might be (as well) [⇒better] to talk to her
with (another) [⇒an] accent.
On my way home
I happened to see
her walking with (her) [⇒a] companion,
(now削除) newly found.
(できあがり)
The New Girl in School
The new girl in school
was pretty and sweet.
How I could fall
into company with her, I wondered.
In the noon recess
I was watching her lean
against the cherry-tree.
The new girl in school
was speaking with an accent.
I wondered if it might be better to talk to her
with an accent.
On my way home
I happened to see
her walking with a companion,
newly found.
89.海を歩く母さま
母さま、いやよ、
そこ、海なのよ。
ほら、ここ、港、
このいす、おふね、
これから出るの。
おふねに乗ってよ。
あら、あら、だァめ、
海なんか歩いちゃ、
あっぷあっぷしてよ。
母さま、ほんと、
わらってないで、
はよ、はよ、乗ってよ。
とうとう行っちゃった。
でも、でも、いいの、
うちの母さま、
えらいの、海、あるけるの。
えェらいな、えェらいな。
(添削)
Mother Walking on the Sea
No, Mother, you’re wrong;
That’s the sea;
Look here! This is a port;
This chair is a ship;
It’s going to sail out;
Please (go) [⇒get] onboard the ship.
Oh, no, Mother,
don’t walk on the sea;
Gasp for breath, here in the sea;
Mother, please be serous;
Don’t laugh at me;
Hurry up (to go) [⇒and get] aboard.
Gee, now she’s gone;
But it’s all right;
I’ve found her great,
for she can walk on the sea;
Oh, yes, she’s great,
quite great.
(できあがり)
Mother Walking on the Sea
No, Mother, you’re wrong;
That’s the sea;
Look here! This is a port;
This chair is a ship;
It’s going to sail out;
Please get onboard the ship.
Oh, no, Mother,
don’t walk on the sea;
Gasp for breath, here in the sea;
Mother, please be serous;
Don’t laugh at me;
Hurry up and get aboard.
Gee, now she’s gone;
But it’s all right;
I’ve found her great,
for she can walk on the sea;
Oh, yes, she’s great,
quite great.
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