●　清水英雄先生からのメッセージ

母の姿は富士の山



富士はけだかく
美しい
春
夏
秋
冬
四季折々の
やさしさを
せいいっぱいに
表現している
おおきな心で
つつみこむ
富士の姿は
母の姿

富士は
でっかい母心



Mother Looks Like Mount Fuji


Mount Fuji is dignified and graceful.
In spring, in summer, in fall, and in winter as well,
it presents its graceful seasonal changes in the scenery
with might and main.
It has a capacity for tolerance in its broad mind.
Mount Fuji looks like Mother.

Mount Fuji is broad-minded like Mother.


（英訳：坂井孝彦）
（英文校閲：Frances Ford)

●　日本人の心の歌（その３）

・早春賦　（1913）　　吉丸一昌作詞・中田章作曲

　Greg Irwin 英訳：
I'm Longing for Spring [Soshunfu]
Lyrics by Kazumasa Yoshimaru
Music by Akira Nakada
　　　
　中野一郎　英訳：
/Ode to Early Spring
            (Kazumasa Yoshimaru / Akira Nakada)

１．春は名のみの　風の寒さや
They say that spring is coming
They tell me winter is through
/How can the wind in spring be as chilly as it is now
谷の鶯　歌は思え ど
I listen for the birds now
And dream of the nightingale too
/The nightingale of the valley, longing to start his songs,
時にあらずと　声も立てず
Yet still a chill comes over me
When will my heart feel like singing?
/Was forced to keep silent, for the time was not yet nigh,
時にあらずと　声も立てず
I'm longing for the morning
When winter will give way to spring
/Was forced to keep silent, for the time was not yet nigh.


２．氷解け去り　葦は角(つの)ぐむ
They say that spring is coming
They tell me winter is through
/The ice has been melted, the reeds have budded forth,
さては時 ぞと　思う あやにく
The river's high and running
The snow and the ice are gone too
/How firmly I believed the time had really come,
今日もきのうも 雪の空
Though clouds today are winter gray
Could grass be green? Am I dreaming?
/How sad to see the snowfall day after day,
今日もきのうも 雪の空
I'm longing for the morning
When winter will give way to spring
/How sad to see the snowfall day after day!


３．春と聞かねば　知らでありし を
They say that spring is coming
They tell me winter is through
/How happy I’d have been, if I’d not been told of spring,
聞けば急（せ）かるる　胸の思いを
This brand new song I'm humming
Sweet love I'm dreaming of too
/My heart is now bewildered /Since told that spring had come,
いかにせよとの　この頃か
Yet who could say that spring is here?
It looks like snow late this evening
　　     /How sad and bleak the days are, /how can I soothe my heart,
いかにせよとの　この頃か
I'm longing for the morning
When winter will give way to spring
        /How sad and bleak the days are, /how can I soothe my heart?
                   (英訳：Greg Irwin  /中野一郎)

・bleak
肌をさすように
冷たい、寒い、冷え冷えとした、
 = cold and cutting, gloomy and somber



（考察）
・春は名のみの　風の寒さや　谷の鶯　歌は思え ど
時にあらずと　声も立てず　時にあらずと　声も立てず
They say that spring is coming
They tell me winter is through
I listen for the birds now
And dream of the nightingale too
Yet still a chill comes over me
When will my heart feel like singing?
I'm longing for the morning
When winter will give way to spring

/How can the wind in spring be as chilly as it is now
/The nightingale of the valley, longing to start his songs,
/Was forced to keep silent, for the time was not yet nigh,
/Was forced to keep silent, for the time was not yet nigh.

Greg Irwin訳：
一人称主語を導入して
春を待ち焦がれる気持ちを述べる英文に転換している。
原詞のくりかえし部分の後半を省除して、
この部分にも春待つこころを訳補し、
そして、
この訳補部分を歌詞全体にわたるrefrainの部分とする、
という構成に変換している。
Yet still a chill comes over me　
When will my heart feel like singing?
のこの発想：「すてきです、いいですなあ」。


・春と聞かねば　知らでありし を　聞けば急（せ）かるる　胸の思いを
いかにせよとの　この頃か　いかにせよとの　この頃か

They say that spring is coming
They tell me winter is through
This brand new song I'm humming
Sweet love I'm dreaming of too
Yet who could say that spring is here?
It looks like snow late this evening
I'm longing for the morning
When winter will give way to spring

/How happy I’d have been, if I’d not been told of spring,
/My heart is now bewildered /Since told that spring had come,
　　    /How sad and bleak the days are, /how can I soothe my heart,
        /How sad and bleak the days are, /how can I soothe my heart?

「精緻な論理を好む英語の構造」
対
「簡素な言葉で通じ合うことの多い日本語の構造」の妙。

●　風林火山　英訳添削ノート
　　　英文校閲：Frances Ford

風林火山

雲峰寺 (孫子の旗)

馬が走る　人が急ぐ
ざわめきの息の中　甲冑の音
疲れきった体に
膝が抜けるような石段
待ち構える仁王像
命を　命を
旗を　旗を

葉擦れの音　清やかに
木漏れ日　和わらかに
暫しの安息
遠くより聞こえる
小烏の囀りに何者にも恐れないものを
心に吹き込まれたかの様に
「うむ」・・・・・・と
戦士は立ち上がり
石段をゆっくり
降りて行く
苔むした　羅漢仏は
足元に静かにこうべを垂れて背後には
山門の仁王像が黙然と
過去　現在　未来　すべてを
飲み込む





風林火山
Whirlwinds, Forests, Flames, and Mountains

雲峰寺 (孫子の旗)
Umpoji-temple
(the colors [削除of Sonfusius] by Sun Tzu, a tactician in ancient China)


馬が走る　人が急ぐ
ざわめきの息の中　甲冑の音
Horses are galloping;
Men are hurrying on their way.
The warriors, all of them,
are gasping and panting in a ripple of talk;
Helmets and armors clatter and rattle.

疲れきった体に
膝が抜けるような石段
待ち構える仁王像
Though tired out,
they are now going up the stone steps,
with their knees seemingly giving way,
to face the two Deva kings
that have been waiting for them.

命を　命を
旗を　旗を
Let us receive orders;
    Let us have our colors.
[修正案] OR Let us be given our colors.


木漏れ日　和わらかに
暫しの安息
    With leaves whispering, rustling with bracing breezes,
        with sunbeams gently shining through branches of the trees,
        they take a rest there for a while.

葉擦れの音　清やかに
遠くより聞こえる
小烏の囀りに何者にも恐れないものを
From far away, they hear birds chirping and twittering.
The songs now seems to have inspired them with a fighting spirit
that stands firm in defiance of any enemy.

心に吹き込まれたかの様に
「うむ」・・・・・・と
戦士は立ち上がり
石段をゆっくり
降りて行く
    They say to themselves, “So here goes,”
and stand up on their feet
to go slowly down the stone steps.

苔むした　羅漢仏は
足元に静かにこうべを垂れて背後には
山門の仁王像が黙然と
過去　現在　未来　すべてを
飲み込む
    At their feet along the way to down there stands
a Buddhist image called Rakan-botoke,
mossed by time, with his head down calmly.
    At their back there stand
the guardian gods of the temple gate
[削除 without saying anything] [追加silent]
    The two Deva kings seem to have a good grip [削除of all of] [追加on] the
situation
in the past, present, and future.



Whirlwinds, Forests, Flames, and Mountains

Umpoji-temple
(the colors by Sun Tzu, a tactician in ancient China)


Horses are galloping;
Men are hurrying on their way.
The warriors, all of them,
are gasping and panting in a ripple of talk;
Helmets and armors clatter and rattle.

Though tired out,
they are now going up the stone steps,
with their knees seemingly giving way,
to face the two Deva kings
that have been waiting for them.

Let us receive orders;
Let us be given our colors.


    With leaves whispering, rustling with bracing breezes,
        with sunbeams gently shining through branches of the trees,
        they take a rest there for a while.

From far away, they hear birds chirping and twittering.
The songs now seems to have inspired them with a fighting spirit
that stands firm in defiance of any enemy.

    They say to themselves, “So here goes,”
and stand up on their feet
to go slowly down the stone steps.

    At their feet along the way to down there stands
a Buddhist image called Rakan-botoke,
mossed by time, with his head down calmly.
    At their back there stand
the guardian gods of the temple gate silent.
    The two Deva kings seem to have a good grip on the situation
in the past, present, and future.